Minigames, moreso than any other type of game, tend to break that elusive fourth wall of videogaming. I don't mean that they slyly wink at the player as a way of saying "Hey, look, you're playing a videogame!", I mean that the mechanics are oftentimes completely transparent. Look at something like the original Mario Party, which had so many games where the only thing required of the player was to rotate the joystick. In essence, each of those minigames would work the same if they just had a plain bar on screen that filled up as you rotated and went "DING!" when it reached the top. The action going on is nothing more than a stylized representation of that bar.

In a way, you could say the same thing for every single game ever made - that they're just visually stylized representations of a program that is essentially just requiring you to input various commands. The difference is that minigames such as those found in games like Mario Party are a whole lot easier to decode and see in this light. Given the sales of games like these it's obvious that there's a large audience out there that doesn't seem to mind, but the fact is that most people that consider gaming to be more than a casual pastime don't have time for such tripe.

Unfortunately, that tripe is pretty much all that B.C. Story has going for it, besides some hilarious engrish.



Seriously, just take a look at the sole explanation of the "story" in B.C. Story, found on the attract screen:

Once upon a time, our ancestors introduced that lived erect a tribe to center of greates a patriarch.

The method of elect a patriarch is very peculiar then a volcano burst into erution elect of a patriarch convention is open the winner elected a patriarch.

And then, someday. Finally, a volcano burst into eruption so many people compete very keen with elected a patriarch. At lost, a three challenger lived a final round...

I swear to God, I couldn't make this **** up if I tried.

So, there's one thing going for it. Another, as you can see, is that B.C. Story has a likable and attractive, if somewhat generic, cartoon art style. Other than that, there isn't much praise I can give to it.

Most minigame collections these days do offer a handful of games that break that fourth wall I talked about in the opening paragraph, but then sprinkle in some games with a bit more depth in order to round out the package. B.C. Story offers no such variety, instead opting to drill the player with simple "rotate the joystick" and "mash the buttons" games from beginning to end. Because there are no breaks from the simplicity, it's easy to get philosophical about the meaning of games.

I mean, this is really breaking down what it means to be a game in the scientific sense - you press buttons, and things happen on screen that represent your level of progress in pressing the specific buttons the game wants you to press. This could in some way be said for all games, but usually there are levels of depth and complexity that effectively blur and confuse this bare-naked premise. In B.C. Story, however, it's easier than ever to see that bar that I talked about. Hell, sometimes it's literally visible.


Take away the graphical dressing provided, but keep those yellow bars. What do you have? Fundamentally, the exact same experience.

Maybe this isn't sounding fair - after all, a ton can be said about the effects that presentation can have on a game. For example, one could break down a game like Bioshock (or Biogod, as it's known in the circles I run in) in this way all day long, until you get to the bare-bones, scientific premise behind the game. But in doing so, you're completely losing out on what makes the game so fantastic, which is so much more than the sum of the parts - it's the atmosphere, the electricity, and the experience. It's a current pinnacle of brilliant game design.

Come on now, though - we're hardly talking about Biogod here. We're not talking about something that delivers on the atmosphere, the electricity, and the experience - we're talking about cartoony sprites that, while completely inoffensive, don't do anything to hide what is ultimately a preschool experience.


On top of all of this, the games themselves have ridiculously twisted learning curves. While most of them could be thoroughly pwned with little effort by a three year old playing for the first time, others require multiple playthroughs in order to figure out exactly how to excel at them. If the juvenile game design didn't completely put you off before, the uneven difficulty is sure to finish you off.

As far as the score goes, I have to go back a bit on all the trash I've been talking about it - because despite everything, I actually had some fun playing B.C. Story. Mostly it fun at the game's expense, but it was fun regardless. And as much as I hate this kind of game design 101 bull****, I have to admit that I could see a couple A&F twits named Chad and Brittany that don't know anything about videogames having fun trying to mash buttons quicker than the other while they drool on the joystick and fiddle with their hairlips.

Just for you, Chad and Brittany, I'll add an extra point, a smiley-face sticker, and a "GTFO so I can review some worthwhile games pls".

2/5

 

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